Post by lulz on Sept 15, 2008 17:24:32 GMT -5
My Twilight Review:
“About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him – and I didn’t know how dominant that part might be – that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally, and irrevocably in love with him.”
Stephanie Meyer’s, ‘Twilight’.
Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight has become one of the most popular books ever written. It is a teen romance novel telling the events that encircle Isabella Swan and her vampire lover, Edward Cullen. Throughout the book, Edward and Bella face hunter vampires and conflicts over Edward’s vampire ethnicity. Twilight was described by it’s creator, Stephanie Meyer as ‘a vampire story for people who don’t like vampire stories’. This makes logical sense, since someone who doesn’t like vampires wouldn’t care about the bastardization of one of the greatest influences to society’s views on religion, freedom of choice, health and morality, the vampire.
Let’s start with the plot of Twilight. Bella chooses to move to Forks with her father. But she refuses to call him ‘Dad’ or ‘Father’ instead she calls him by his first name. Her father is clearly still in love with Bella’s mother and works extremely hard for his teenaged daughter. But Bella shows no sympathy for her father and instead has nothing but contempt for him. This would be okay, because many people are hurt and devastated when their parents separate, but Bella never reconciles with her father. Bella does start calling him ‘Dad’ later on in the so called ‘story’ but she never apologizes for her transgressions. Apparently, she moved to Forks, Washington because her mother started dating a man named Phil. Phil likes to travel and her mother wants to go with him, but her mother feels she must stay home with Bella. Bella decides to play martyr and move with her Dad. This may sound nice and sweet of the protagonist, but if you view this from a literary critic’s perspective, you will spot a major contradiction. If Bella is so considerate of her parent’s feelings, then why does she act so cruelly to her father and think of her mother in nothing but derision. But, later on in Twilight, her mother is kidnapped and held hostage by James, Bella is overcome by a deep love for her family. So obviously this supposedly well founded, very genuine and mature condescension of her parents appears to be nothing more than a bout of teenaged, hormone induced angst. In conclusion, this first few paragraphs already establishes that Bella is a spoiled, self centered teenaged girl. And that Stephanie Meyer will randomly interleave various acts of kindness to disguise Bella’s true nature as a character. However, if you read closely, you will discover the contradictions and the sloppiness of Meyer’s work. This is just one of many poorly constructed sub plot devices used to attract the commiseration of hormonal preteen girls who believe that a single illogical act of egotistical fake benevolence is sole creation of a decent human being.
Now, Bella goes to school the next day with a pretty infuriated outlook. She is also spiteful and condescending towards other people at her new school. Now, this would have been okay if Bella had been angry because she had missed her old school, not because the school’s curriculum was slower than her original school (Which therefore means they are dim-witted) and the fact that she is entirely appearance based. When she first enters the school, and gentle young man named Mike offers Bella assistance and it nothing but polite and a wonderful example of a young man. But, without even knowing the boy for more than a few minutes, Bella doesn’t want to talk to him or even accept his help solely because he appears to be the ‘chess club’ type with oily hair and pimples. And this is something we admire in literature? How is it that the majority of Twilight fans love the fact that Edward and Bella love each other despite each other’s flaws, yet they dismiss Mike as a character because of his? Mike’s sole purpose is to establish what a normal teenaged boy is like. Normal teenaged boys are fairly polite, casual, funny but because of puberty, are prone to an awkward appearance. He is here to set the normal men apart from the significance of Edward. But if that is the case and Mike is the opposite of Edward, what can we learn? That Mike, although unsightly appearance is open and generous. But Edward, although stunningly attractive, is self centered and selfish
Now, immediately the shy, and allegedly uncharismatic Bella suddenly attracts the attention of everyone in the school, and within a few hours, becomes extremely popular. Bella, who has been described as quiet and average looking suddenly gains the attention of everyone in school. She silently goes to her class on the American government at the time of Jefferson’s presidency, and all the while she is gawked at by the native students. Eventually, seven boys develop deep crushes for Bella, ranging from one of the most popular boys in school to the ’chess club’ type boy Mike. Now, Meyer herself said that she, like Bella, was a quiet girl in High school. But also according to Meyer, she wasn’t popular with boys. This and Bella’s appearance are the first hints that clearly paint a picture of Bella. Not as a unique character with individualistic perspectives and beliefs, but Stephanie Meyer herself. Meyer wishes that she had been paid more attention too by boys in High school and knows that any girl desperate enough to read Twilight wishes the same thing. By fulfilling her desires, which, very humorously are very similar to the wishes of a teenaged girl, she got herself a best seller. Back to the ‘plot’.
Now here’s a little critic for you, if Edward is roughly one hundred years old, then why is he in high school? If his adoptive family was rich wouldn’t he have already gone to school? Or what about all those other years? What was he doing in school? Why does Meyer never give us answers? Only one of these questions can be answered, and it is the last one. The answer being plot holes.
Now we see where Bella’s perspectives truly are. Bella sees a group of attractive people at her school and is immediately fixated by them. Entranced by their appearance, she decides that they are the only people worth befriending. Despite the fact that Mike had already purposed friendship. She starts talking to a girl named Jessica and learns that these beautiful people are new like Bella. And therefore, are the perfect candidates for her new best friends. She eventually sets her sights on the most attractive boy, Edward. She is attracted to him solely because he is handsome. She doesn’t even know anything about him other than this and that fact he is new to the school. And please keep in mind that Bella once stated to Edward later in the story that her feelings for him haven’t changed from when she first saw him regardless of his being a vampire. In conclusion, Bella is superficial and her love for Edward is entirely based on appearance. Since Bella’s feelings when she first sees him are appearance based, we know where her loyalties lie. Also keep in mind that the entire concept of Twilight was based off of a (wet) dream of Stephanie Meyer’s.
Bella later has class with Edward and overjoyed. The first example as her weakness as a female protagonist. She obviously has nothing else going on in her life so sitting next to the prettiest boy in all the land is the highlight of her life. In this chapter, Edward gives Bella a dirty look which she dismisses because he is ‘ laying perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare.’ And please do not get me started on Meyer’s grammar. Ignore it and accept the fact that Bella disregards Edward’s outright sociopathic tendencies because he is beautiful. And later, ignores the fact that he is a dangerous vampire for the exact same reason. You know, there was another good looking and charming but dangerous, sociopathic killer. I think his name was Ted Bundy.
Edward precedes to switch classes much to Bella’s dismay. Edward stops attending school and Bella becomes devastated, taking her wrath out of the daringly kind Mike. Bella goes to the store and sees a shiny new Volvo (Which just happens to be one of Meyer’s favourite cars.) she also sees the pretty people and makes some illogical conclusion about how people with money are pretty and want to be left alone? Bella checks her email only to read messages from her mother asking her what is wrong, Bella writes off her mother’s concerns and then starts telling her dad about her love for Edward. She then shuns her father’s emotional needs.
Bella is almost hit by a car (Plot device) and Edward saves her. First off, if some man stops a car and saves me, I wouldn’t be happy, I’d be terrified. Due to the injury, Bella gets a neck brace, but is annoyed to wear it because it makes her look nerdy. But everyone in school is waiting just outside the hospital, this is completely illogical and makes no sense. Now, Bella and Edward begin to argue but for no commonsensical reason. Well, actually they argue because Bella wanted to talk about how Edward saved her and he didn’t want to explain. This is Meyer’s failed attempt at a romantic cliché of how two enemies or rivals end up falling in love. Of course, the dialogue is stiff and their argument is erratic and nonsensical in every sense. The chapter ends with Bella becoming enraged at her father for telling Bella’s mother she was almost hit and killed.
So let’s skim a bit because the plot tends to drag on. This is a huge problem with Twilight. You need to be constant. The reader has to know what is going on and the plot has to be happening at all times. Lets say in the book ‘Dracula’ when Jonathan Harker is escaping Dracula’s castle after encountering the Brides of Dracula. Instead of Jonathan trying to find a way out of the castle and becoming terrified for his life, he decides to sit down and read a book. It isn’t humanlike for someone to be in a life or death situation and instead decide to do something else. Reading a book while trying to escape from Dracula’s would be irrelevant. But what if Harker was stupid enough to read a book or if the book had some significance? Well then yes, you could briefly mention ‘He read a book’ but you obviously wouldn’t spend two pages on the subject. This is, unfortunately, what Meyer does on every little detail. She has spent PARAGRAPHS on Edward’s smile, or Bella’s personal views. Now, Bella’s personal views are somewhat deserving of a paragraph, she is the main character after all. But Edward’s smile does not deserve a paragraph. A good sentence, at best. The problem is Meyer becomes so obsessed with her detailed descriptions that she forgets what the plot is. Twilight is roughly 550 pages long, if Meyer had limited some of her descriptions to a simple metaphor, simile or sentence instead of ten paragraphs, Twilight would have only been roughly 275 pages long. Meyer’s plot also drags on too, and simply to give her more opportunity to go on with her descriptions. Did she really need to include Bella and Edward in science class together? Did Edward really have to show up right after Mike asked Bella to the dance simply to say they were better off not friends? No, these, and many others, were irrelevant. They didn’t need pages and chapters dedicated to them.
Oh and this:
Every Twilight fangirl reading Twilight : I JUST CAME. LOL.
“About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him – and I didn’t know how dominant that part might be – that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally, and irrevocably in love with him.”
Stephanie Meyer’s, ‘Twilight’.
Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight has become one of the most popular books ever written. It is a teen romance novel telling the events that encircle Isabella Swan and her vampire lover, Edward Cullen. Throughout the book, Edward and Bella face hunter vampires and conflicts over Edward’s vampire ethnicity. Twilight was described by it’s creator, Stephanie Meyer as ‘a vampire story for people who don’t like vampire stories’. This makes logical sense, since someone who doesn’t like vampires wouldn’t care about the bastardization of one of the greatest influences to society’s views on religion, freedom of choice, health and morality, the vampire.
Let’s start with the plot of Twilight. Bella chooses to move to Forks with her father. But she refuses to call him ‘Dad’ or ‘Father’ instead she calls him by his first name. Her father is clearly still in love with Bella’s mother and works extremely hard for his teenaged daughter. But Bella shows no sympathy for her father and instead has nothing but contempt for him. This would be okay, because many people are hurt and devastated when their parents separate, but Bella never reconciles with her father. Bella does start calling him ‘Dad’ later on in the so called ‘story’ but she never apologizes for her transgressions. Apparently, she moved to Forks, Washington because her mother started dating a man named Phil. Phil likes to travel and her mother wants to go with him, but her mother feels she must stay home with Bella. Bella decides to play martyr and move with her Dad. This may sound nice and sweet of the protagonist, but if you view this from a literary critic’s perspective, you will spot a major contradiction. If Bella is so considerate of her parent’s feelings, then why does she act so cruelly to her father and think of her mother in nothing but derision. But, later on in Twilight, her mother is kidnapped and held hostage by James, Bella is overcome by a deep love for her family. So obviously this supposedly well founded, very genuine and mature condescension of her parents appears to be nothing more than a bout of teenaged, hormone induced angst. In conclusion, this first few paragraphs already establishes that Bella is a spoiled, self centered teenaged girl. And that Stephanie Meyer will randomly interleave various acts of kindness to disguise Bella’s true nature as a character. However, if you read closely, you will discover the contradictions and the sloppiness of Meyer’s work. This is just one of many poorly constructed sub plot devices used to attract the commiseration of hormonal preteen girls who believe that a single illogical act of egotistical fake benevolence is sole creation of a decent human being.
Now, Bella goes to school the next day with a pretty infuriated outlook. She is also spiteful and condescending towards other people at her new school. Now, this would have been okay if Bella had been angry because she had missed her old school, not because the school’s curriculum was slower than her original school (Which therefore means they are dim-witted) and the fact that she is entirely appearance based. When she first enters the school, and gentle young man named Mike offers Bella assistance and it nothing but polite and a wonderful example of a young man. But, without even knowing the boy for more than a few minutes, Bella doesn’t want to talk to him or even accept his help solely because he appears to be the ‘chess club’ type with oily hair and pimples. And this is something we admire in literature? How is it that the majority of Twilight fans love the fact that Edward and Bella love each other despite each other’s flaws, yet they dismiss Mike as a character because of his? Mike’s sole purpose is to establish what a normal teenaged boy is like. Normal teenaged boys are fairly polite, casual, funny but because of puberty, are prone to an awkward appearance. He is here to set the normal men apart from the significance of Edward. But if that is the case and Mike is the opposite of Edward, what can we learn? That Mike, although unsightly appearance is open and generous. But Edward, although stunningly attractive, is self centered and selfish
Now, immediately the shy, and allegedly uncharismatic Bella suddenly attracts the attention of everyone in the school, and within a few hours, becomes extremely popular. Bella, who has been described as quiet and average looking suddenly gains the attention of everyone in school. She silently goes to her class on the American government at the time of Jefferson’s presidency, and all the while she is gawked at by the native students. Eventually, seven boys develop deep crushes for Bella, ranging from one of the most popular boys in school to the ’chess club’ type boy Mike. Now, Meyer herself said that she, like Bella, was a quiet girl in High school. But also according to Meyer, she wasn’t popular with boys. This and Bella’s appearance are the first hints that clearly paint a picture of Bella. Not as a unique character with individualistic perspectives and beliefs, but Stephanie Meyer herself. Meyer wishes that she had been paid more attention too by boys in High school and knows that any girl desperate enough to read Twilight wishes the same thing. By fulfilling her desires, which, very humorously are very similar to the wishes of a teenaged girl, she got herself a best seller. Back to the ‘plot’.
Now here’s a little critic for you, if Edward is roughly one hundred years old, then why is he in high school? If his adoptive family was rich wouldn’t he have already gone to school? Or what about all those other years? What was he doing in school? Why does Meyer never give us answers? Only one of these questions can be answered, and it is the last one. The answer being plot holes.
Now we see where Bella’s perspectives truly are. Bella sees a group of attractive people at her school and is immediately fixated by them. Entranced by their appearance, she decides that they are the only people worth befriending. Despite the fact that Mike had already purposed friendship. She starts talking to a girl named Jessica and learns that these beautiful people are new like Bella. And therefore, are the perfect candidates for her new best friends. She eventually sets her sights on the most attractive boy, Edward. She is attracted to him solely because he is handsome. She doesn’t even know anything about him other than this and that fact he is new to the school. And please keep in mind that Bella once stated to Edward later in the story that her feelings for him haven’t changed from when she first saw him regardless of his being a vampire. In conclusion, Bella is superficial and her love for Edward is entirely based on appearance. Since Bella’s feelings when she first sees him are appearance based, we know where her loyalties lie. Also keep in mind that the entire concept of Twilight was based off of a (wet) dream of Stephanie Meyer’s.
Bella later has class with Edward and overjoyed. The first example as her weakness as a female protagonist. She obviously has nothing else going on in her life so sitting next to the prettiest boy in all the land is the highlight of her life. In this chapter, Edward gives Bella a dirty look which she dismisses because he is ‘ laying perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare.’ And please do not get me started on Meyer’s grammar. Ignore it and accept the fact that Bella disregards Edward’s outright sociopathic tendencies because he is beautiful. And later, ignores the fact that he is a dangerous vampire for the exact same reason. You know, there was another good looking and charming but dangerous, sociopathic killer. I think his name was Ted Bundy.
Edward precedes to switch classes much to Bella’s dismay. Edward stops attending school and Bella becomes devastated, taking her wrath out of the daringly kind Mike. Bella goes to the store and sees a shiny new Volvo (Which just happens to be one of Meyer’s favourite cars.) she also sees the pretty people and makes some illogical conclusion about how people with money are pretty and want to be left alone? Bella checks her email only to read messages from her mother asking her what is wrong, Bella writes off her mother’s concerns and then starts telling her dad about her love for Edward. She then shuns her father’s emotional needs.
Bella is almost hit by a car (Plot device) and Edward saves her. First off, if some man stops a car and saves me, I wouldn’t be happy, I’d be terrified. Due to the injury, Bella gets a neck brace, but is annoyed to wear it because it makes her look nerdy. But everyone in school is waiting just outside the hospital, this is completely illogical and makes no sense. Now, Bella and Edward begin to argue but for no commonsensical reason. Well, actually they argue because Bella wanted to talk about how Edward saved her and he didn’t want to explain. This is Meyer’s failed attempt at a romantic cliché of how two enemies or rivals end up falling in love. Of course, the dialogue is stiff and their argument is erratic and nonsensical in every sense. The chapter ends with Bella becoming enraged at her father for telling Bella’s mother she was almost hit and killed.
So let’s skim a bit because the plot tends to drag on. This is a huge problem with Twilight. You need to be constant. The reader has to know what is going on and the plot has to be happening at all times. Lets say in the book ‘Dracula’ when Jonathan Harker is escaping Dracula’s castle after encountering the Brides of Dracula. Instead of Jonathan trying to find a way out of the castle and becoming terrified for his life, he decides to sit down and read a book. It isn’t humanlike for someone to be in a life or death situation and instead decide to do something else. Reading a book while trying to escape from Dracula’s would be irrelevant. But what if Harker was stupid enough to read a book or if the book had some significance? Well then yes, you could briefly mention ‘He read a book’ but you obviously wouldn’t spend two pages on the subject. This is, unfortunately, what Meyer does on every little detail. She has spent PARAGRAPHS on Edward’s smile, or Bella’s personal views. Now, Bella’s personal views are somewhat deserving of a paragraph, she is the main character after all. But Edward’s smile does not deserve a paragraph. A good sentence, at best. The problem is Meyer becomes so obsessed with her detailed descriptions that she forgets what the plot is. Twilight is roughly 550 pages long, if Meyer had limited some of her descriptions to a simple metaphor, simile or sentence instead of ten paragraphs, Twilight would have only been roughly 275 pages long. Meyer’s plot also drags on too, and simply to give her more opportunity to go on with her descriptions. Did she really need to include Bella and Edward in science class together? Did Edward really have to show up right after Mike asked Bella to the dance simply to say they were better off not friends? No, these, and many others, were irrelevant. They didn’t need pages and chapters dedicated to them.
Oh and this:
Every Twilight fangirl reading Twilight : I JUST CAME. LOL.